The only thing we have to fear...

It continues to amaze me how ignorance is such a primary instigator of fear. It sounds so cliche and elementary textbook-ish, but there's incredible and unfortunate truth in it. Whenever I don't know what to expect out of something, I find myself naturally envisioning the worst, and I seem to have a relatively long track record of experiences where I allow my fear to keep me from fully living in the moment. Take for example this trip to Tanzania - ask anyone close to me, and they will reaffirm that I was scared to come. It wasn't because I didn't want to come to TZ, but instead, for one of the first times in my life, I had no clue or even an idea of what to expect upon my arrival and during what still seems like an awfully long time.

With an older sibling who also attended Luther and was involved in nearly all of the same activities I am now in, it was easy to live vicariously through my brother as he encountered cllege experiences for the first time. That way when it was my turn, I could handle anything thrown my way like a pro. Here in Africa? Not so much. I don't think any observing or being told stories of what to expect here could have prepared me for what I am now experiencing. But as time passes, I am beginning to feel myself becoming more familiar with my environment and settled in this new culture, almost ready but surely eager to learn more. I say "almost" because I am still scared at times and get nervous quite often, whether it's keeping track of my money and valuables, knowing when the food and water is safe to eat and drink, knowing if the water will even be on in the dorms the next day, needing to use the bathroom at any time of the day (I'm still not used to the idea of these squat pit toilets...), getting bitten by a malaria-carrying mosquito, bugs in general in my room (which is kind of an Insectopia right now - love open air hallways and holes in the screens), saying something terribly wrong in Kiswahili, not taking advantage of the opportunities at my fingertips, my personal safety, my family's and friends' health and safety, and the list goes on.

BUT that's why I really like the way the LCCT program is set up with our group living and traveling together during an orientation program before moving to the university (where we're at now) and participating in the UDSM International Student Orientation in September. Exhausting as these first few weeks have been, I've done some of the most fun activities imaginable! Already I have processed my own coffee, harvested sunflowers, seen more wildlife than Disney could ever cartoon into a movie, fallen asleep to the shimmering sound of the wind blowing through the palm trees, cared for babies at an orphanage, taught Maasai children how to play hopscotch then danced with Maasai women and warriors, swam in the Indian Ocean then watched the sunrise on the beach the next day, bartered in Kiswahili, played soccer with kids from Dar, eaten liver (not by my own will, mind you), seen the most unbelievably beautiful night skies complete with stars that actually twinkle (because they do here!) AND I milked a goat. Ha, a goat!! So despite fears and frustrations, it really doesn't get much better than this!

*Photo from the Tengeru Market in Arusha, TZ